up now on "the soup," we plan
All the details for jeand
Justin's big wedding .
Around. Are running
People are screaming.
a break with the bad girl's
Lub.
and get wet and juice write
With "big brother."
Bialic. From mayim
Now the host who is watching it
All for you.
Joel mchale!
[applause]
Thank you.
To "the soup."
As you may have heard, jennifer
Ereaux are tin th
Getting married.
We'll get around to it.
Right now let's head to today to
A face named bonnie fuller
Tell us about it.
The couple was celebrating.
Proposal.Ed his
He called it an extraordinary
Gift.
fans will be breathing a sigh
Relief.
Probably opening champagne
Themselves.
Theirave been waiting for
Friend, jennifer aniston to find
Mr. Right.
Fans everywhere will be
Opening champagne themselves
For all of their
Mannequins they have around
Pretend they t to
Are not desperately alone.
All their "friends"
D.V.D.'s.
What?
It is human blood?
It is not ready yet.
Over, t the olympics are
American gold med lists will be
Show."ng on "the today
Silver medalists on the fourth
Show." "the today
N today, matt lauer sat down
With gold medalist ryan lochte
Plans. About his
are you going to some kind of
Reality tv show?
That? E a possibility of
hopefully.
We'll see.
M, we'll see what happens.
I'm definitely looking towards
Ancing with the stars" and
"the bachelor."
We'll see what happens.
you want to move to l.A.?
Oh, yeah, I definitely want
To move to l.A.
Hat has been a big goal of
Mine.
Getting into fashion because
That is my passion.
Passion. Is my
Wait, wait, that rhymes.
Oh, man.
I didn't even
Realize that I'm a poet.
[laughter]
Ey, that rhymed too.
Hey, matt, can I eat your shirt?
[laughter]
Yeah, yeah, one of my goals is
To move to l.A.
There? Get
[laughter]
Oh.
Hollywood" the new
Blonde lady sat down with two
Erican decathletes to talk
About bruce jenner.
That's right.
It is possible to fall this far.
Anyway, bruce's life now is sad.
He is one of the dudes.
1970's.
Decathlete.
nobody in his family will
Listen to him.
Say. Has a lot to
he is trapped in an estrogen
Rison.
I was the amazing one.
let me try.
I was amazing once.
This used to be the face of a
Gold medal winner.
Now it is just the face of a
Heat damaged --
Talking about bruce.
Hon this week's squt "the
Of an american
Teenager" and every week, the
Plays george is
Working on his reactions to
Things he finds on top of other
Hings.
[laughter]
after the coffee landed on
Reacted to that.
Stuffing his mouth with
Newspaper.
On "big brother" the contestants
To dress as limes and jump
In a giant pool of juice because
Watching that is the only way
Ulie chen can get off.
Listen to us describe the action
In a strange tone of voice.
I might be dressed up as a
Fruit but man this conference
Stigs hard.
Pretty physical guy and
I'm struggling right now
Testicle. Popped his
Breezing ueezing,
Through this course.
Many limes saw this
Queezed there wasn't a drop of
Tequila at the bar.
it sounded like it had a
But I'm pretty
Sure it didn't.
Theory's" mayim
Bialic.
When things seem boring say
It in a sexual way to make it
Interesting.
What if I said last the last
Much detergen't
Ed, all my laundry got
Cleaned.
you're right.
Totally made it sound
Interesting.
On ast night I took my dog
Really long walk so he could go
To bathroom, or the last time I
Long,g on a walk that
He evacuated his bowels all over
My lawn.
One. Ot
The last time you were in the
Greenroom, I watched all of your
The through a peephole in
Wall.
I know, it is boring, right?
Dirty way. He
Numerous psycho sexual
Issues.
I think I did that backwards,
Actually.
I don't know, I'm pretty
Turned on.
[laughter]
Oh, my god.
Book news, a clothing
Line from the "50 shades of
Books will soon be
Available for fans of the erotic
Model.
World has been clamoring for
Jeans. Mom
I have a question for you.
You want to get ripped?
Hard abs and tight
Muscles?
Off that ass, it is time
For some christian fitness.
You can stay on the
Couch.
¶
There we go.
Hallelujah.
So five minutes of pillow
Passing.
20 couch reps and a round of
Are all that stand
Between you and the beach body
Of. Ave always dreamed
[laughter]
Let's talk about chicks, man.
chicks, man.
Said she wants pauly d
In the delivery room when she
Gives birth.
Not really for moral
Support.
To having a ed
Deejay playing when her vagina
Is out in the open.
[laughter]
Life" doom "the secret
You have an impression on
Out 's vagina when it is
In the open?
Let's have some chat stew, shall
E?
so meaty.
oh.
Is show "herman and sharon"
The closest thing modern
Television has to a key party.
Won't keep you waiting.
Here is the swinging couple now.
Love you.
sharon?
yes.
do you remember what happened
Ago today?
I'm confused.
[laughter]
sharon, I'm sorry, honey, I
Didn't know you could hear.
You remember what
Happened 50 years ago today
Because that is the day I bought
And now I can't find
It.
Do you know where it is?
[laughter]
Hmm.
More news, larry king has
Moved to the internet with a
"larry king now."
To he was just
Playing angry birds and wound up
Sarandon.Ng susan
I'm in the kidding.
Do you facebook?
no.
do you tweet?
penny tweets.
Didn't get a twitter account
But penny got one.
But eeps people up to date
Not many people know she is
Talking about me.
Puppy.Ount is miss penny
but it is really you?
she will lie.
She talks but --
About dog things.
She talks from a dog point of
Iew.
Sometimes she eavepb photographs
Things from a dog point of view.
Ight, penny?
penny.
Penny.
I'm over here.
[laughter]
obviously penny is not a
Cadaver dog.
[laughter]
Larry, do you tweet?
what?
[laughter]
With ll be right back
Mayim.
Ialik, everyone.
stay tuned for "the soup's"
century. The
[applause]
welcome back.
Longmyer meets a cop from denver
Who has one simple question.
are you the sheriff?
how can I help you?
Just got into town about an
Hour ago and I got a question.
Here are all the black people?
[laughter]
follow-up question.
Where are all the white women?
[laughter]
J-woww and snooki have given up
N life, loathe each other,
Their badly decorated jersey
Apartment and the fact they are
To be on tv and
Since snooki is pregnant, we
Watch her fallto
Down and have anonymous sex
Anymore.
Show. Happens on this
Nothing.
Watch.
They do nothing.
They are not even trying!
Owes us another apology!
Here they are doing nothing in
Another country!
I want to dance tonight.
Instead of uppose
Listening to good music and
Ncing, which has a chance,
However slight of being
Compelling television because
There is movement and sound
Sit around in an
Silence eating salad because
Show g happens on in this
At all!
Nothing!
Apologize mtv!
[applause]
Got really upset.
You know how most people skip
Act of a concert?
From openings clip
Talking l lithgow is
To a group when he makes an
Astute and quite telling
Observation.
You're going to be
On that stage and you're not
Going to be wanting to have a
And that is part of
Performances.
All I'm asking for you is to
Into that performance back
You.
Do you bring energy?
You're going to have to work on
T.
But that has never stood in a
Lot of people's way.
that's right.
I mean, look.
Got this show on the air,
Right?
[laughter]
Ll, I didn't think you could
Sum up 25 years of e! 's
Words but n just six
Talent's never stood in our way
It.Ty much does
Show where " is a
Paul fisher, you know, the
Veteran travels around the
Struggling ng
Modeling agencies to get back on
Their feet.
Needsaw a need that didn't
To be filled and refilled it
Nyway.
Murder,s dark dreams of
He is the real star of the show.
Here we are.
Olumbus, ohio.
Joseph, we brought you to the
Heartland of america.
are you excited?
I hate the word heartland.
Hat kind of an agency --
did someone die?
I supposed to cry here?
I've never cried in my life.
It.N't believe in
[laughter]
other things I don't believe
And e colors, taylor swift
Hyper algeneralic dogs.
This could have all been avoided
I had just been picked once
For kick ball.
[laughter]
Don't clap!
I don't believe in it.
Comb my hair with a pillow.
Mom has tips for her son who was
Very lucky he wasn't home
Chooled.
To tell me he -- in
The dip sack saying he tried to
Chance? Another
He needs to get a new piece of
Ass and move on!
And yes, she is a bitch!
- I-c-t-h.
[laughter]
in that order?
O wrong?
At least she spelled ass right.
Dating, the
Ad's group is having a pot
Luck and the guys in the
Foursome admit they are sweet on
Guests.He
how far can I go with rocks
Anne?
at the party?
A sex party.
Do what is appropriate for the
Setting.
can I make out with her?
Yeah.
I'll be there so --
really?
if I'm there.
hey, tom.
us two guys melee
Bed to-face together n
Together while boning the same
Two girls.
But we draw a line at -- that
Would be gay.
Ow an all new low.
It comes from "the bad girl's
Club."
I'm serious.
oh, my god.
ashley.
Shley.
Oh, my god!
That's a lot of pee.
Couldn't hold
It.
When I say I can't hold it, you
Now what I'm saying.
[laughter]
Ere you go, sir.
Corona ut it in a
Bottle and hand it back to her.
She will never know.
Mayim bialik, everyone.
Wow!
I have a doctorate in
Neuroscience.
But none of these
People know what that is.
We'll be rookt right back.
On for the "the soup's"
wedding spectacular for jen and
Worried that you're missing
Out on whatever this is?
Download "the soup" ap.
Check out thesouptv.Com.
Back.'t forget to tuck it
Honey don't nobody want to see
Our vierra wang.
that's souptv.Com.
It's so meaty.
[applause]
thank you.
You know what her real name is?
Changlla.
May recall that last week we
Were totally right about
Something.
We're going to make big ass
Deal out of.
I
last week "the soup"
That we're throwing
Jennifer and justin the wedding
Of the century.
Engaged.Ere not even
then justin proposed and
Jennifer said yes.
Suck it, bitches.
wouldn't it be awesome if
Here? Were
who is justin?
Do we have any more chips?
we need more chips!
to the dress prefitting.
A wedding ly isn't
Dress.
and you really aren't a size
2.
shut up.
the cake is being bought.
A local anding outside
Grocery store where where "the
Oup" has sent a production
Assistant to buy the cake for
The wedding of the century and a
And some hydrogen
Peroxide.
this isn't a flower shop.
That is our next stop.
First here, then the convenience
Tore and then flowers.
come with us as we hunt for
He perfect location with
Wedding planner kevin lee.
I don't the day but
Think anybody would want to get
Married in it.
just run the [beep] story.
"the 're invited to
Soup's" wedding of the century
For jennifer and justin.
Ill they attend?
not our problem.
Watch "the soup" all summer
Ong for exciting wedding
Updates.
Cease and desist
Letter comes in.
our clip of the week.
Housewives of new
York" sonya is about ready to
Art her photo shoot with a
Toaster oven, but she must first
Se the restroom and penchtly
Scar a production assistant for
Life.
do you have my bag?
Andve to go to the bathroom
Change my tampon.
This is why I'm so cranky.
Lot of blood.
Come in here.
God!
H, my god!
You see?
The doctor said I
Have a young uterus.
Oh, my god!
I'm going to go get you
To wear.
I'm so embarrassed!
coming in.
Tell you?
It looks like someone got
Urdered in here.
so gross!
The w is for what the [beep]
Appened to television?
[applause]
Thanks to mayim bialik.
She is lovely and beautiful.
Watch her on "the big bang
Theory."
Ey don't need any ratings do
They?
Sweel see you next week,
everyone.